I got a message from a dear friend the other
day, and it brought tears to my eyes.
A lot of things do that to me lately, but this message is really
special. It came from Ethan’s
former babysitter, Jenny. Through
the years, Jenny became much more than just a childcare provider for us—she
became a friend, a support system, and a member of our family. This message was meant to be shared in
the guestbook, but it’s obviously a little long for that! I’m sharing this because I wrote
something earlier that I don’t feel like sharing now. I wrote in when I was feeling very angry and sad, and I
would rather post something a little more positive now.
Through
my eyes, when I met the McFall family about four years ago, I fell in love
immediately. I first spoke with Lindsey by email and phone as they were looking
for childcare for Ethan. Lindsey was open about Ethan's sleeping patterns or
lack there of. The fact that he was a little difficult as an infant but being
almost one had outgrown most of the fussiness. Just as she had explained each
of his not so pleasant traits she was just as quick to tell me all of his
delightfulness. It was agreed that they would come meet me. To my surprise, it
wasn't just one parent coming to meet me. It was the three of them. I loved how
easy going and laid back they all felt. They came in and sat on the floor with
Ethan. We all sat and covered the normal daycare interview topics. I think they
read the check list of what to ask providers. They asked if they could run a
quick errand to see how Ethan does.. Ethan was crawling. He did fuss a bit as
they left, understandably so. By the time they were down the street Ethan was
happy, playing with my girls, crawling all about. Scott and Lindsey came back
within the hour....this is when I knew they were my new favorite family. Not
because they came back promptly, it was how both got down to his level and
spoke to him so sweetly. You could tell they missed him in that short time. I
loved that.
Over
the next couple of years they became part of our family, remaining my favorite
of all the daycare families. My girls warmed up to all three quickly. Ethan
settled in on his days here easily. At drop off and pick up, Lindsey and Scott
both took the time to make Ethan's transition smooth...no matter what their day
was like. What I saw was that Ethan was loved and most importantly, he knew it.
Through my eyes, I saw love and patience.
Then
it was time for my little buddy to go off to preschool. Although this made me
sad, I was okay with it because I knew I'd still be able to see them. I was
excited for him to grow a little more, experience new things, and be the little
man he was ready to be.
I
have had the pleasure of watching Ethan grow through the stability and love
Scott and Lindsey gave unconditionally. I have also had the pleasure of getting
to know their extended family. The McFalls, they are my favorite family!
I would get so
excited when Lindsey would inquire about spots being open.....always quick to
ask if it was for a new member of the family. No, not yet, for a friend or
neighbor. Then the message came! Lindsey was pregnant! I'm pretty sure you
could hear me scream ten miles away. I'm not one to push or prod when that next
baby may come. I am a firm believer of waiting until you are ready. The McFalls
were the one family I secretly wanted to grow. Through my eyes, they were the
perfect parents. I wanted all my daycare kiddos to come from a family like theirs.
I
got to meet baby Max the day before his passing. Through my eyes, I saw a proud
but tired mommy and a busy big brother. I had already made up my mind that I
needed my Ethan fix before giving that baby Max any attention. I wanted my
little buddy E to know that I loved him first. He and I have a bond,
indescribable really. We just mesh well. So I got my fix of the big
brother...then my baby radar was going mad. I wanted to meet this baby. He was
so long and that hair! Strong and alert. That baby Max. As he and I walked
around as Lindsey and the kids were about the house I kissed the top of his
little head and took in that baby smell. To this day I still have that thought
in my mind. That is my memory of Max.
Through
my eyes, Lindsey and Scott are my version of being the perfect parents.
Perfection means making mistakes, learning from them, loving, providing,
caring, teaching, entertaining, humor, and all the things they have. They are
my favorite family.
Thank
you Lindsey and Scott for sharing your little family with me. It means more
than I could even try to put into words.
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